The Conservative Party brings a turkey to a chicken fight

The Background

In the end, it all seems to come down to chicken. 

Archaeologists claim that, when future civilisations vastly superior to our own eventually trawl through the fossil record of the Anthropocene era, today’s society will be notable primarily for the number of chicken carcasses we have rapaciously left behind us. 

But even they, surely, will never be able to comprehend the way in which the humble hen has become such an integral part of the culture wars of late-capitalist Britain.

Last year, the now infamous ‘KFC Crisis’ laid bare Britain’s unpreparedness for any kind of shock to its fragile food logistics network. 

Since then, the chlorinated chicken debate has served as a handy metaphor for those who believe an exit from EU regulatory standards will leave the country at the mercy of Trump’s America. 

And just last month, a clumsy and ill-judged Home Office campaign conflated the humble chicken shop with London’s knife crime epidemic. 

And now some un-creative creative in the Tory party marketing department (is there one?) came up with this poultry effort.

The Review

The first strategic error of the campaign was to enter into a social media scuffle with far bigger beasts than themselves. 

The Tories initial attempt to engage with KFC (as well as seemingly believing that KFC itself is just a very large chicken, rather than a purveyor of fried goods) was swiftly and summarily slapped down by the fast-food chain.

The second was to underestimate the internet’s passion for mockery. 

Within minutes of its initial publication, the overwhelmingly young, tech-savvy and left-leaning audience of Twitter had run amok with memes and savagely critical commentary. Whilst the idea was obviously an attempt to appeal to the Conservatives’ base, that demographic is vastly outnumbered on social channels. The front page of The Sun is a controlled medium compared to the bearpit of social media. 

Finally, and perhaps most tragically, the chicken delivered to journalists was unequivocally not of the delicious, fried variety. 

Looking more like it had come fresh from the shelves of M&S than the local branch of Morley’s, the media mailers only helped to confirm suspicions that the instigators of the campaign knew very little about the culture they were attempting to hijack.  

In Hindsight

Much has been made of the current government’s use of so-called ‘deadcatting strategy’ to distract from other (more pressing) issues, with many suggesting this campaign was yet another distraction tactic. 

And it is certainly true that, in a week where virtually everything that could go wrong for the PM did, it gave Twitter’s wags and Fleet Street’s hacks something altogether more amusing to focus on for a few hours. 

However, at a time when Johnson’s control of government was fast slipping away due to the departure of senior politicians from the ‘one nation’ wing of his party, a poorly-executed attempt to troll the opposition may not have convinced other wavering MPs and voters that he is indeed the ‘adult in the room’ required in these most testing of times. 

Despite all evidence to the contrary, there remains an abiding belief amongst some commentators that there is a strategic masterplan at the heart of this No. 10 administration. 

Could the real truth be that they are just as headless as the rest of us?

On this occasion at least, they brought an absolute turkey to a chicken fight.
And lost.